It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
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