what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
