At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
