I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When are your genitals available?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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