i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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