i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
