Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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