pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
