I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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