I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
