you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So squirting runs in the family.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
