Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
