She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
