Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
