we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize