ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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