Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
