i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
