How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
