I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
They have beer where we have blood.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
