I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
bring money and cleavage
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
