one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
