Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
