Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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