He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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