Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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