Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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