dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
