so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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