dude i'm inner monologue high
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
