Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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