...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
