Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
