Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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