Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
