Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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