I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
