i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
