Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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