Tell her she can't have a vagina
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
