im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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