I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
