she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
