i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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