with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
