who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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