So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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