I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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