I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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