Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
